I’ve spent the last 2 years living my lovely comfortable life, seeing clients, teaching classes, traveling with my husband, hanging out with friends, and reading ALOT of books. I’ve wondered why I haven’t been able to write; why it sits in my head but refuses to come out. I’ve been watching the writing part of me and have been puzzled about what happened. It was sort of like a light on a dimmer switch that finally just went dark. I clearly didn’t want to write, but I couldn’t quite figure out why. Until last week.
Easy answer – I have no role model. Of course, there are a bazillion bloggers and published writers out there, some of whom I know, like, and admire, but I have not developed any relationships with those who are like me. When I say like me I mean an introvert who guards energy, who doesn’t want to give up comfort, and who works from inspired rather than forced structure.
Somehow I equated success and proficiency with struggle, tiredness, and rigid plans. Many of those I admired (or who looked like they knew what they were doing) are extroverts, seem to have endless energy, and are comfortable with having a lot of balls in the air. It also seemed that the common denominator of success was working hard, stressful days, and sleepless nights. That sounds like my personal definition of hell, so I stopped. Totally the wrong role models – for me.
I’m looking to cultivate role models who can validate that stepping out successfully in public doesn’t require me to expend all my energy. I’m sure I’ll find them. I probably already know some of them.
Since I’m thinking about this for myself, I’m beginning to think about this with my clients. How much does having a great role model help anyone try something new and challenging? Whether it’s trying a new relationship skill, attempting a hard conversation, or changing a habit, how much does having a role model help?
What do you think? When you try something new, or outside your comfort zone, does having a role model help you?