First, let me get a confession out of the way. I like reality TV. I don’t watch many shows regularly, but I will tune in to almost anything that tells a personal story or shows a person’s experience in the world. Truthfully, I’m a human lookie-loo.
So, with that said, I happened upon an episode of ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ the other day. If you’re not familiar, this is about the experience of women choosing their bridal gowns. Sounds silly, but even my manly husband comments how easy it is to get sucked in.
I’m married, but I never wore a wedding dress. I opted for a purple long skirt and a black velvet top. Obviously, I’m not traditional, but some of these brides are and the wedding dress experience is something that many women have been dreaming about since little girl years.
I cried during this episode. Then I got pissed off.
Why? Because there the bride was standing in her fluffy, sparkly, white gown, looking amazing and beaming at her bevy of family and friends, waiting for the words, ‘you look beautiful.’ But, those words didn’t come.
Instead, she got the opinion of her body shape or what needed to be different, or what wasn’t quite right. She got negative. She got personal opinion. She got deflated.
What she didn’t get was validation. She didn’t get shared excitement of her experience. She didn’t get the feeling that she was special and would look great in a burlap sack if that’s what she chose.
She left without the dress she loved.
And, that’s when I cried, because she left her dream in the bridal boutique. She left because someone else told her that what she wanted wasn’t right.
Have you ever done that? Have you ever been a doormat because someone else’s opinion was different than yours?
What I really wanted was for the bride to look her naysayer in the eye and say ‘Thank you for your opinion, but I love this dress and this is the one I want.’ And then flounce out of the store with her perfect gown in tow.
Or, alternately I would have loved for her to ask the negative Nancy to leave. Obviously this was not a person who wanted the best for her, so why keep her there?
Can you do that? Can you hold your ground when someone else is giving you their ideas and opinions?
You know, they are only telling you what makes them comfortable. Not what’s the best for you.
You know what’s best for you. Stand up for yourself. Be strong. Whether it’s a bridal gown, a career change, a dessert choice, or the color of your new car, it’s you you have to make happy. Not someone else.