What I want for you is: to dream big, to dream way past the ‘how to’ of it, to have a juicy, exciting force of energy that pulls you into the future, and to feel the richness of life through the realization of your dreams.
If you’d told me a few years ago that my husband and I would achieve our dream of gathering our closest loved ones in an Italian villa for a week, I would have laughed. But we just returned from that adventure, and it was as amazing as we wanted it to be. And that’s a photo of our villa!
Here’s some of the reasons women get stuck and don’t dream:
I don’t know how to make it happen
The how’s are annoying roadblocks and they have stopped me a lot in life too. As I see it, two kinds of how’s get in the way. First, you’re thinking in global outcomes – the end product. Second, your present life doesn’t seem to have the components to make the dream real.
What to do
The only thing you need to consider is what feels like the next right step. If your dream is to open a restaurant, you are not going to be serving people tomorrow. What is the next right step? Education, experimentation, creative expression? Getting stuck in the how’s are a signal that you are getting way ahead of yourself. Sometimes you simply need to hold the dream and percolate it, one piece at a time. Great solutions often come from incubation.
I feel guilty or selfish for wanting more
OK, life is good – at least for the most part – but, the yearning remains. The selfish/guilty button is getting pushed because I bet you’ve been programmed earlier in life to believe that you should be happy with what you get and that your desires are too much.
What to do
It’s time to move through some old beliefs and stories that are no longer helpful. There is no limit to happiness in this world – really! If you want more, then more is available. What are the limiting beliefs that are getting in your way? Write them down and then find a way to release them. You deserve exactly what you want.
I’m scared – what if it works?
I’m working on this one right now. One of my current dreams is to travel around the western US in a camper. It seems pretty do-able eventually, but I’m actually scared of being lonely and uncomfortable. There’s an inner conflict with my dream.
What to do
Acknowledgement and planning are the right thing to do for this block. Acknowledge all the fears regarding the dream – what would it create that would be a challenge? Then create a plan for it. For me, it would look like having friends and family join me along the way and not having stretches of time too long by myself.
It’s not practical
You’re right, it’s probably not practical. A week in an Italian villa with loved ones is not practical. Driving around the western US is not practical. Living in an international city is not practical. So what? Living a completely practical life is like only eating oatmeal (with no nuts or fruit).
What to do
Take on impracticality in small doses. What can you do today, right now, that would fly in the face of practicality? Wear fancy panties? Eat ice cream for lunch? Stay in bed for an entire Saturday? Do it! Be a bit impractical and increase the spice in your life. Remember that impractical does not equal irresponsible!
What are your dreams? What gets in your way of dreaming? Leave a comment; I’d really like to know.